Nobody wants to play with me. That’s how my son (3 years and 10 months) starts complaining out of the blue. With a sad face and tone. Except we’ve been playing with him all day long. He has all of our attention. And it’s still not enough. For a split second, I wonder if he’d play with a sibling. But a voice in my head quickly stops me: Nope. Don’t go there.
It’s not fair. When he doesn’t like something. In my head: what can I tell u, buddy. Life is not fair. But that’s not all that bad. Because it brings opportunity.
If he does something he is not supposed to do and he sees us catching him doing it – he quickly disarms us by telling us he won’t do it again with the sweetest voice and smile he can muster. Sometimes he gets away with it. Sometimes he doesn’t.
As he hears and learns more words, he tries to use them with us. And sometimes I can’t figure out what he means. And he keeps repeating until you acknowledge and understand what he is saying. It’s a struggle but hopefully, me or my wife will figure it out. Eventually.
He talks a lot. More than I thought that’s possible. So much that it’s hard to talk or listen to anyone else if he’s around. I remember I was the same way.
Earliest I remember walking with my mum and asking about all the cars I saw on the road. What color is that? What number is that? What model is that? And for some reason, after a while, she got fed up and might have said something to keep me quiet. And that turned into a core memory.
It could be one of many reasons why some of my friends call me the quietest guy they know. All in all, I try not to do the same thing with my son.
I know it’s not just one experience that shapes your future but I also know I should not do the same mistakes my parents did.
What about you, what are some lessons you learned from your childhood that you try not to pass on to your kids?
If you like this, you can check out my book for similar content.
Side by side is a book about the first years of parenting. Both the beauty and the hidden side of parenting. The long nights and troubled days. Parents who try and fail and then try again. And how your little one puts a smile on your face and you forget everything just in time to start a new challenging day. It follows the first 2 years of a new dad and his journey, side by side, along with his son.
RaduH's Blog 
We all make mistakes as parents, it’s part of the package! Just when you get one phase under control and understand it, they launch into a whole new phase!
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So true.
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π Parenting Parents; because ‘Parents are dumb π π π π π€ π€£ π ‘
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I sometimes say to my own kids that my parents showed me exactly how to be a good parent – by doing pretty much the opposite of what they did in every circumstance.
One of my four kids talked incessantly from the moment he could say his first words. He’s 24 now and hasn’t lost his appetite for a chat! He’s still very entertaining! Another is autistic and is really, really quiet. He messages me all the time, but if there are more than three words in the message, something major is going on.
Three is such a lovely age. They learn so much and develop right in front of your eyes.
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So I’m not the only one who thinks my parents were not the greatest.
Its nice to hear fron other parents, especially from the ones who have done this “parenting thing” several times.
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No, definitely not.
When you were a child, you no doubt generally just accepted your own parent’s behaviour as just how it was. But when you have your own child, you feel this massive rush of love, compassion and a need to be protective. But at the same time you are faced with memories from your own childhood and you look at them with fresh eyes. That can be quite painful when you realise your parents didn’t respond in the way you would have. Or the way you needed them to. I think it’s important to allow your own inner child to have a moment to contemplate that. Afterwards you can let that part of you heal, at least to a degree, in the knowledge that as an adult you can make the choices to do things quite differently with your own child. You can pour love into that child. And really importantly, you can think about how you want to parent them. So instead of just reacting to a situation, you can think about what it actually is that you want for your child, and how that impacts their life.
It’s clear to me, from your blog, that you do both of those things very well. When I read your articles, it feels like you feel very lucky to have your son. But the truth can be said of your son, he is very lucky to have you.
My four are pretty much all grown up now. The eldest is 27 and the youngest is 16. I learned a lot bringing them up. I learned listening to them is one of the most important things you can do as a parent.
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I agree that listening to them is very important – even when they don’t make much sense.
And I feel fortunate to have you as a reader and sharing precious insight and wisdom into the way parenting should be seen and done.
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Looking back, we say we should have had more than one child. We had our one later in life. I am always thankful for Him. I am forever grateful for just one child who is now an adult, and loves Jesus, and writes to his hearts content. He is writing a book, that is not a biography.
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